I'm ok....i'm ok people

apparently my other half ( yes, sometimes i'm bi-polar) managed to type out the frustration that is inside me.

ok, so i am frustrated that my friends just got themselves a better half of themselves recently. i'm happy for them, but the frustration is still there. now time has passed by a bit, the frustration is not that severe, but i still wonder at night about my luck.....

anyhow, for this hols, I GOT A JOB X.X

yeah, i got a job at www.visualsolutions.com.my , a CRM ( customer relation management) software provider. gonna be attached to their technical service dept , so i'll probably be talking alot to customers and potential clients.

just hope no blunder is made while i'm there...>.<

*takes a deep breath...........releases it *

yep, i'm better now. at least i got somewhere to vent out my frustration than keeping it in ba tight bottle.

cheerio

Who am I in your eyes?

What do you think about me?

really, what was your impression about me? am i a self-bitching bastard? a quiet guy, a loner? just wanna ask your honest opinion.


(self degrading rant ahead)



why did i feel so...unwanted today? i felt like i was the outsider, not connected to anybody. am i? an outsider? with out any connection whatsoever?

am i the guy who is seeked for stuff/service/help? i am not worthy to be seeked as a friend? and after i've been used, i'm to be thrown away like a piece of paper from a fancy toy? Am i viewed by the world in such manner? not as a person but as the dude who has the the thing that someone wants?

Will i ever be treated like this forever?

where is my huggable person? i could use a nice hug by now.....

life sucks

another of my friend found love this week. before it was my friend in melaka.

i'm happy for you two .really

then a question comes to my mind - what about me?

am i doomed? to be alone?

am i too picky that i cant even find someone that i can......love back?

i dont know if the one for me is already RIGHT INFRONT of me. maybe i'm just too blind to notice?

i'm surrounded by friends, i;m thankfull for that. its just....everyday, mainichi, setiap hari, i feel something missing. its like a hole in the heart, gnawing me from within, threatening to destroy me if i dont fill that hole. what am i supposed to do?

yes i have a reprive, but is it good enough? even a friend i know who is like...the most bleh person in the world, has someone waiting for him, even if he do not know/want/care about the person.

what do i have? WHO do i have?

maybe in the end i'll just be alone. just surrounded by frineds and family. nothing more, nothing less.

what away to life , eh?

Freedom............................hountou desuka?

woohoo! no more papers! i am free!!!................

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ok, now what? what am i suppose to do?
i am truely stumped on what to do for the next two months.
i have plans to attend japanese classes, and maybe attepmt the JPLT one time or another, but other than that, what?

get a job? i am clueless in that part of the working world ( the getting job part)

stay home? ( Cempedak busuk anyone?)

Holiday? ( HAD a plan....but....all gone astray as schedules conflicts with each other)

sigh....i think maybe i'll use the weekend as a time buffer on deciding on what to do. Probably by monday i can get an inkling on what to do.

anyway, got this from Shun Fujiwara a.k.a. Furitsu a.k.a. Crazy d00d.

What does your t-shirt say? by rejektedrockstar
Name
Age
Fav. Color
Gender	FemaleMaleI dunno...
Ta-Da
Quiz created with MemeGen!

not bad. tho i wish it was in real life.....not unlike someone i know....

Hiya....welcome to Superwonder, what wil you have today?

well, here i am, another blog yet again. i seem to go trough blogs like water.....

anyhow, i feel i need an outlet to say something somewhere someplace. will that be an insult to anybody?

let's see....

1. an exam paper in 30-odd hours...and i'm half prepared. is that a pretty picture?

2. my room's a mess....ok, what bachelor's room isnt a mess?

3. my life's a mess....weird sleeping time, weird sleeping habits, weird.

4. the fact that i'm just lonely?

5. holiday's are up soon, 2 months. what to do, what to do.


anyone out there knows how much does a shrink cost in malaysia? maybe i need one. i need someone to re-anchor my life. its getting miserable. the only reprive i have are anime, and maybe some tv show. i dont study, i keep to my room all the time, i eat less ( which is a GOOD thing tho) , i'm getting sick, what else?

i wonder, again and again, what are we doing here on earth? why are we here? is there a spesific purpose? to love someone? to be loved? to learn? to make a difference?

maybe i'm taking this the wrong way. maybe i should change MY perspective on life. if only someone could help me on that......